Anxiously Awaiting

Wow it’s been a while since I last posted. I guess that means I haven’t bought anything cool–thank the Lord for restraint–or nothing interesting has happened.  I was cruising the archives of my little virtual space here on anxaw, and I found some old posts that I would love to revisit. So, dearest reader, follow me chronologically back to the times of research labs, ghetto housing, and working IT at a law firm.

A Memorial to the Unnamed. Read the riveting tale of a heroic golden algae eater, and how he likes to hide behind rocks.

Dude, Where’s my car? Remember that time my car almost got stolen? No? Details inside.

A personal struggle. Nothing profound here, just Jduv vs A Tie.

W32.Bobber. I wrote a virus and installed it on a co workers machine–well, sorta ;).

Whaaaa? The adventures of jduv as related to lottery commercials.

So I was almost in a rap video. Apple bottom jeans, boots wif da furrrrrrrrr!!!111

I hope to produce more of such epic content sometime in the future. Reading through these has inspired me to write more. Hopefully I can write a couple of those posts that I have been promising to produce–such as my theorem 1.1 post, and why I like console video games over PC video games. Guess I’ll get cranking!

You know who I’m talking about. The insane person in tight, odd looking pants riding a bicycle on the road that you are tempted to get your friend to push over as you fly by them at insane speeds.

In the interest of personal fitness–and not to mention saving approximately 1 gallon of gas a week, I bought an Orbea Onix road bike last month. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to ride it much with my recent sickness and flights to miscellaneous parts of the US for work. Nevertheless, I love my bike.

Before you slap your forehead while shaking your head vigorously and exclaiming, “He’s going to kill himself the crazy fool!” let me explain that I have a helmet and I do not ride on busy roads that don’t have a bike lane. This means that roughly 75% of my commute to work in the mornings is on sidewalks, which just so happens to be illegal in GA since bicycles are legally recognized as vehicles. If I am stopped by a bored cop I’ll take the ticket, because there’s no way I’m riding in the road on Brekinridge. I drive pretty crazy fast on that road and I get passed like I’m standing still.

So far, the ride to work is relatively fast–less than 10 minutes on a good day–as long as there is a car in front of me at red lights. Apparently I don’t weigh enough to set off the sensors. The ride isn’t terribly tough either. I spend most of my time in a low gear riding at about 15-25 mph on the main sections of road that I take. My bike is incredibly fast, even with a 200 lb. dood riding it.

In the interest of protecting myself and my cycling/motorbiking fellows, please do me a favor: watch out for cyclists. Don’t worry. I’m no green crusading destroy all SUV’s hippie, and I had the same disdain for “That Guy” as you before I became one of them, but as gas prices soar to over $4.00 a gallon I hope you realize that the mpg rating on my Onix is, well, infinity. Please do me a favor and curb your impatience, watch for hand signals, and don’t honk at me. I already know I’m good looking.

Owning a 4GB iPhone with a basic 450 minute AT&T plan and unlimited text messages will cost consumers around $2000 over the course of two years.

The hysterical bids on craigslist where people pay other people to stand in line for them to procure an iPhone confirms something that I have observed over the years since Apple has made a rise to market: Apple fans do not possess common sense. I don’t care if my phone has wifi, surfs the net, plays flash in the browser, or even calls down meteorites from the sky in the event I’m being mugged; it’s not worth 2 grand + “bum shipping and handling.”

Okay so maybe if it called meteorites.

An unnamed Golden Algae Eater died last night as the result of being eaten by a much larger fish. I am unsure of the culprit, but the Blue Gourami was looking very content earlier today. I shall take a moment to narrate the short life of this fine young fish. As a spur of the moment purchase on Friday, January 26th 2007, this little guy had a fighting spirit to be matched by no other fish. It took 3 minutes for the Petsmart clerk to chase him down and put him in a bag; converse to the Plecostomus that I also bought, who surrendered immediately. After a short ride down I-75 to the TSRB, the unnamed fish was released to his new home–where he promptly started eating some algae on the right side of the tank.

Thank you, unnamed Golden Algae Eater. You were an inspiration to us all, and you will be missed. As for the Gourami, I hope he enjoyed his $3.89 happy meal.

[UPDATE] False alarm. He was hiding under a rock.

Today is the last day of one of Mother Tech’s famous career fairs, and I decided to go and look for my next professional victim. The fun, however, came before that. Since the people who show up to these things are from pretty hardcore firms like IBM, Google, and Intel, it’s probably a pretty good idea to attempt to impress them. So, to my semi-pouting dismay, on goes the monkey suit.

Well, in my case it was khakis, a nice dress shirt, and–blarrrghhh, a tie. The last time I had to wear a tie was at my cousin’s wedding, and amazingly I could never figure out how to tie the piece of crap so I left it at home. It behoves me that something so simple in concept could foil my every attempts at looking somewhat decent.

I was a little late waking so most of my morning was spent in a maelstrom of clothes, toothbrushes, and resumes. Right before my roomate and I were going to head out I realized that I didn’t have my tie; which by the grace of God I only own one of these agitating little pieces of cloth. So I borrowed one from my roomate, and spent the entire time during the drive to school attempting to tie it.

By the time we had made it to Tech, my struggle had intensified to near name calling. Websites like this one didn’t help either. I spent then next thirty minutes in the TSRB trying to get the retarded thing to look half decent on me. Finally my roomates PhD advisor showed me an easy and quick knot that I am 50% sure I remember how to tie. I was victorious!

Even now I look down at the docile piece of ornamental polyester and smile with triumph. For I, from now and until next week, kinda know how to tie a tie.